So, you’ve made it through the Holidays and New Years’, staggered to work on Monday morning, and here we are; facing a new decade. 2019, 2020….same thing…different day. Really? Is that all you’ve got?
You don’t make New Year’s Resolutions? Me neither. But, being the eternal optimist, I am (sorry about that), I look at the glass three-quarters full. While you don’t need resolutions,
there are behaviors we can all improve on. When it comes to divorce, support, child custody and the other areas we practice, read and chew on these items:
- Improve thyself: The better you love yourself, the more and easier you love others.
So, you’ve been meaning to get yourself into therapy? Do it…today; or, you’ve been meaning to get to the gym more often…at all? Do it…today. - All your children want is for you and the other parent to like each other/get back together: You are not proving anything to your kids by yelling at, chastising or treating the other parent poorly in front of your kids. If you just can’t see yourself in a relationship with the other parent, fine. But treating the other parent poorly in front of the kids or within their hearing does not teach them that you’re better than the other parent or the other parent is a bad parent. All it does is show your kids that you are a dope. It makes them sad, angry and bitter towards you, not towards the other parent. That’s the truth; accept it.
- Pay your child support on time: Face the fact that child support is a legal right and it is your obligation to pay it. The other parent isn’t a horrible person for filing for support. You are not the only one in America paying it. It’s your obligation. Pay the piper and get over it. Of course, you need to be sure you are paying the correct amount, and not more
- Be on time picking up and dropping off your kids: Your kids look forward to their visits with you; they look forward to going back to the other parent, in most cases. Be on time in your exchanges. If you are going to be early or late, text, email or call the other person. Their time is as valuable as yours.
- Custody is a privilege you can lose: Do the right things. Enjoy your kids. Be responsible. Treat your kids like you want the other parent to treat your kids.
- Communicate about custody and custody schedules with the other parent and not through your kids: Your kids are not your communication device. Don’t have your kids do the communication with the other parent as the middle person. They don’t want to and it’s actually harmful for them if you require them to do so.
- Divorce is not like fine wine; it doesn’t get better with age: Regularly, people call our office and have been separated 10, 15 or more years. They don’t know where their spouse lives or how to contact them. We have to serve them with your Divorce papers. You need to be able to find your spouse to get divorced. If it’s time to get divorced, do it now.